Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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