oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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