Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
