Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
