jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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