No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
