she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize