He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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