Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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