Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I cut my penus on the lid.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
