You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
