U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
