YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
