Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
