That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
