So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
