Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
