Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
