Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
