You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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