whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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