I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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