Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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