Can Purell be used as lube?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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