youre lurking in front of me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
