Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think people are normalizing furries
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
