YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
