Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
