I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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