im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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