I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
