I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
