TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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