please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
