Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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