I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
