You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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