"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I need water and some morals
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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