Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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