That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
40s are totally the cure
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
