i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
