Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
