we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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