direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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