sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
