I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
