I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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