Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
