a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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