Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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