grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
