He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
