Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
