the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize