THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
