they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
