you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
