You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
