I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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