Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The adults are the big ones right?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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