their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
