dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
