I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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