Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
